Thursday, August 06, 2009


Lie after lie after lie. Because EVERY SINGLE time he asks me how I am... I say that I'm fine.... and I'm NOT! I could NOT get worse.

This life is a maze, and I've hit a dead end. I miss him SO MUCH. I can't say anything or go anywhere without a lump rising in my throat and I have to swallow to push it back down. I'm just hurt. I just feel like a tower fell on top of me. I'm falling apart. "My faith has lost its' strength".

I'm just now starting to completely grab ahold of the fact that he's gone and won't be coming back to stay. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to grab ahold of. Just right now... my world is FALLING APART. My world, my heart, my whole body has shut down.

I have NEVER felt so low in my entire life.