the one thing that's important to me today. It's all I have left. And it was almost gone. For some reason, I feel like for the next couple of weeks, it will not be the same. And that's scary and it hurts. I'm just gonna try and make the most of what I have left. If it's not enough, then I don't know what will happen. I'm not even sure I know what happened today or what's happening right now. I feel like someone just died. Nothing but this 1 thing is important to me anymore. Nothing. Not even life. Well, God is. But this one thing is something I will never ever let go of, and I refuse to live without it. That's life right now. It's scary, and hurtful, and the farthest I've ever been from OK. But if anything, I have faith. I know God will work things out for the better. I'm leaving it in His hands, and trusting Him with it. As hard as that is to do, I'm going to. I have to. There's nothing else to do but wait and worry.
Yet I still blame myself for what happened today.