Thursday, August 27, 2009

Free time

Free time is very limited right now. Tomorrow is Friday. Thank God! I keep thinking that after this week, no more school. Boy, do I need to change my mind about that. I'm really liking this year. Some of my classes are going to bore me tears but that's ok. The teachers are nice and I am pretty sure I can make new friends in all my classes so I'm trying. :) Haha. There's this kid in my 5th period who said he's going to be Michael Jackson for halloween and I started laughing so hard I almoost fell out of my chair. Freshman are so funny. I kinda miss being a freshman. I miss last year a LOT. That's what I know for sure.

I'm IN LOVE with musical theater. I know automatically that is absolutely my fave class. Varsity choir is fun... but I feel so... misplaced. Haha. I don't feel like I should be in there. There are so many talented people and we are learning this new song "Homage", and everyone can sing it right off the bat while I'm like "Wait.... how does this? Oh. Wait, no. WHAT???!" So... that's choir. Haha. But I love the sound that we have as a group.

So I HAD to blog today because it marks the 7 month anniverssary of the day my brother and I met the J's and the 1 month anniverssary of the day we said goodbye. It's so weird. It feels like it's AT LEAST been 3 months since I last saw the J's. I miss them so much. I thought it would get a lot easier once school started... but I'm still coming home all depressed after school. Like now, it's just like... I feel so alone. I mean I have friends at school.... but they are not my best friends.... and they definitely aren't the J's and I don't automatically get home and text or call them because I'm not close to them. What's weird is... I don't want to be close to them. I just want to have many acquaintences. But then what happens when tragedy hits? What is going to happen next time I lose someone? Am I going to be left alone? Yes. I mean I have God, but sometimes you just need an immortal. It's really hard. I DO feel alone. I know God has a plan... but it's HARD to figure everything out. :( I don't know what to do. Yet again, I'm lost.


Love and Blessings, Jeanna~*~ XOXO